She's the barista slut.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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