we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
