He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
