jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
