i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
