my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
