Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
