Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
