he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
