Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
