Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
