Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
