Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
