If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
kristin has been a bad kristin
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
