I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize