I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
