wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
