Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
