Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize