Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
