today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
