I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
