Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
