I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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