I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
