Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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