my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
