Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize