do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
