I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
