new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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