im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
