At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
