I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
