I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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