He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
