like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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