I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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