when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
