google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
