Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
