TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
