Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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