I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
