READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize