Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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