I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
