i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
