did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to make out with him forever
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
