Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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