I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
