its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
