K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
