Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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