Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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