do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
