Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is glitter all over my balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
