farters have to be the big spoon...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
