Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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