How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
